Coming undone
by Ampersan
Summary: The Illusive man warned Shepard not to interfere and now its too late. Mass effect 3! rated M for language, violence, and sexual situations.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I do not own any of the characters, they belong to Bioware. I am a huge fan of mass effect and I (like so many others) felt the death of Thane Krios too much of a tragedy. I simply feel a great opportunity was missed…**

Sitting in his steel ice cold chair with his right ankle resting on his left knee; he exhaled smoke from his lips, then pressed the holographic button that was flashing green in front of him.

"Report, Mr. Leng," said the Illusive Man.

There was static on the other end, "It was Shepard and that Fucking Drell!"

The Illusive man sat up with clenched teeth and put out his cigarette. He reached out with both hands and began typing feverishly. Windows spun out of thin air: live security footage on the Citadel, past security footage during the attack, and a map which revealed Kai Leng's current location. "I see."

"You should have let me kill her when I had the chance! I got that Drell though," Kai said with a smirk.

The Illusive man paused for a short second at that and thought for a moment, "Krios, Thane?" The question was rhetorical; he had already brought up the footage of the fight between Kai and Thane. He watched everything in great detail, "Even with his illness he proved…formidable."

"He was nothing," he said with a hiss in voice.

The Illusive man rolled his eyes at the remark and continued his thought. "If I remember correctly from the recordings I got back from the Normandy…" His fingers continued to dance across the holographic keys before him and a new window popped up. It was live footage from inside the hospital and Shepard was there reading over the body of Thane with Kolyat. He watched the whole touching scene.

"Sir?" Kai interrupted.

"Shut up."

Once it was over he watched as Shepard walked out of the hospital and into the elevator. "She is trembling…lovers. Hmm, a chink in your armor, Shepard?" He tapped the windows and they vanished suddenly.

"Sir?" Kai interrupted again.

"You're still at the Citadel. That's good Mr. Leng, because I want you to pick up a package for me."

"Sir, the place is crawling," Kai said with his head down and his fists clenched in his lap.

"You will be picking it up while it is en route from the citadel to the Hanar home world." The Illusive man brought out another cigarette from the compartment built into the left arm of his chair. Sitting back and bring his ankle back up to rest on his knee, he lit the cigarette simply by bring it to his lips and taking a drag.

"Bring me the body of Thane Krios but don't hurt the boy if you can. I want Shepard to know who she is dealing with…"

**A/N: So this is my first entry and it's been a long time since I have written anything. I look forward to any reviews and comments. **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Sorry it took so long to punish this. I haven't had access to an editor so I hope it alright. I look forward to any and all comments. Thank you for reading and thanks to all those that have read and left comments!**

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><p>Shepard entered the elevator and the doors shut swiftly behind her causing her long dark curls to flutter behind her. Alone in this small space away from the sounds of the wounded…away from the body of her beloved, she felt herself vibrating. She reached out to the wall and tried to hold herself up. Her stomach twisted and her hand slid down the cold steal wall rapidly until she was left siting on her knees.<p>

For the briefest of moments she remembered how cool his lips where against hers, as her full lips brushed against the wall. Quickly, she forced herself away from the way from the wall and was down on all fours.

"Not him…not now," she said in a half choked deep voice.

Tears started to puddle around her right fist when she realized his voice was going to be added to the shadows that haunt her dreams. _"Siha"_

Screaming, she shot up on her feet and started punching and kicking the walls; over and over again until her fists bled and her throat burned.

The elevator doors opened suddenly and she was met with c-sec guns pointed on her face. The elevator must have had some sort of alert go off. She was on the Purgatory floor?

"Stand down! Sorry Shepard we thought it may have been some leftover Cerberus troops." The c-sec officer looked at her with squinted eyes; he was confused. She appeared to have been in a fight; her hair was a far cry from regulation, her skin tight black bodysuit was ripped in several places, and her fists were bleeding.

Shepard's head was still down and her breathing was heavy. Still, she could tell the voice belonged to a turian and only three c-sec officers stood in front of her.

"Where were _you?_" she asked with distain in her voice.

Puzzled by the question the turian asked, "Ma'am?"

"Where were you, while the counselors were being hunted and attacked?" Her head slowly lifted and her fiery color eyes met his.

"We were-"

Without hesitation Shepard cloaked herself and rushed the human officer to her left. His arm was twisted and he fell to his knees. The gun in his hands quickly pushed up was pointed at his own face; the trigger slowly moving back to the handle.

"SHEPARD!"

Aria pushed through the officers and hit Shepard with a biotic shock wave that knocked her back into the elevator. She then looked back to the officers; (while Shepard slid down the wall and hit the floor with a thud) "You all saw nothing! Return to you duties and so help me goddess if anyone talks about this, I will have their heads!"

Shepard was back up while Aria walked into the elevator and using her omi-tool she shut the door.

"What the Fuck was that Shepard?"

"No, What the Fuck was that Aria? You got off your ass to come see me? I am honored!"

"Cut the shit! You were going to kill that man. You were going to piss away your Spector status along with any chance of taking down Cerberus and destroying the reapers. Why?"

There was a pause for a moment and Shepard rolled her eyes and shook her head, "No… I can't expect you or anyone in this whole fucking cycle to understand the shit I am in."

"Oh boo-fucking-hoo, Shepard! Your planet is being destroyed and you want to lose your shit and throw a fucking pity party? Hold on! Let me get my party hat!"

Within the blink of an eye, Shepard punched Aria in the gut with right fist and then smacked her down to the ground with the back of her left. "The son-of-a-bitch killed him. I got to watch the man I love get run threw by a fucking _sword?_ Who the fuck uses a sword?"

Gasping for air and coughing loudly, Aria tried to talk but Shepard had knocked the wind out of her.

"I got to watch while he wasn't just bleeding to death, he was choking, gasping, like you are now. The man could barely breathe while he was fighting that assassin. He could barely breathe while he and his son were praying for my soul! He could barely breathe…" she felt herself vibration again and her eyes welling up with hot tears.

Rolling onto her back Aria looked up at Shepard and breathlessly coughed out, "I am not your enemy, Shepard. I am sorry you lost what matters to you most, but he wouldn't want you to lose your way like this. If he gave a damn about you he would want you to live for him."

Shepard flopped down next to Aria and exhaled loudly. She couldn't bring herself to talk anymore. Aria turned her head to face her after a moment and smiled. "We need a drink."

Chuckling slightly at that, Shepard and helped Aria up on to her feet. Lifting her up as though she were a small child, Aria was suddenly light headed. "I don't think the bar is a good idea," Shepard replied while steadying Aria.

"No," Aria fired back and punched Shepard in the jaw.

Shepard's head barely moved from the impact and she smiled as she watched Aria's face turn to anguish.

"Hahaha, like punching a Krogan right?"

Aria shook her head and her hand, "Fuck, Shepard. We can go to my apartment."

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><p>Later that night…<p>

Kolyat awoke to the sounds of the emergence alarm within his shuttle. Every inch of his body ached and his left eye was swollen shut. As he went to sit up, he groaned in pain. Several of his ribs had been broken but he was still able to breathe ok. "Computer…distress…signal…message begins. Shepard-" His eye felt heavy, as the room was suddenly spinning. "Shepard. It…was…Cerberus."


	3. Chapter 3 The rescue

**A/N: Sorry it took so long to get this out I have been working at my job, pulling in crazy overtime. **

**The Rescue  
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_The ground was cold and hard; it felt good_. Shepard's eyes flickered open to the sight of the porcelain goddess. She reached up and took hold bathroom counter; lifting herself up onto her feet. Dizzy and feeling somewhat nauseous, she turned on the sink water and splashed cold water on her face. Within moments, her head was starting to clear. Cupping both her hands underneath the faucet, she began drinking the water slowly. After a few swallows she dropped the remaining water out of her hands and shut the water off. The sound of loud snoring was now audible from behind the bathroom door.

She opened the door and sunlight which was in the room now poured in at her. Quickly, she covered her eyes with her hand and groaned in pain. Slithering back into the darkness, like a vampire, she looks around finds her helmet in the bathtub, along with the rest of her armor. It took her twice as long to it all on; once it was she closed her visor. With her eyes now shielded, she walked back out of the bathroom.

The living room was huge and had little furniture in it at all. Aria either didn't come here often; or just she just didn't care enough to do anything with the space. Aria was curled up on the sofa in the center of the room. She looked peaceful, even happy almost, which was odd; considering how much she hated living on the Citadel. Shepard made sure to walk as lightly as she could, so not to disturb her.

Just then Shepard's Omi-tool lit up; alerting her that someone was trying to communicate. Shepard jogged out of Aria's room and then opened the channel for communication. "Shepard here," She said in a clear voice.

EDI voice came in loud and clear, "Shepard I have received an emergency distress call from a private shuttle." Shepard paused for a second; her head was still pounding and there was a ringing in her ears. The hangover was strong enough that all she wanted to do was lay down in her own bed. She moaned slightly, "Is it something c-sec can get to?"

"No. The signal came from much further away. I might not have caught it had it not been for Traynor. I am sending the message to you now," EDI reported.

There was some static and then the unique voice that only a Drell can produce, _"Shepard. It…was…Cerberus."_ Shepard's hangover be damned; she took off at a full sprint for an open shuttle. "EDI have Joker pull out of the docking bay, and open the shuttle bay doors. I'll be coming in hot." She jumped into the pilot's seat and punched with the door still open. _It had to have been Kolyat_, she thought. _But why, why would Cerberus attack him? Could it have been a mistake? Or was this assassin the cause?_ None of it made and sense to her but if Kolyat is hurt or worse…

Shepard made a hard landing the shuttle inside the Normandy shuttle bay and jumped out of the shuttle. James and Cortez jumped to attention, wondering if they should ready their weapons. Shepard just ran right by them both and into the elevator. Once inside she opened a channel to all of her crew mates, using her Omi-tool, "Joker! Shut the cargo bay doors and get me to that shuttle, like yesterday. Garrus, Liara, suit up and bring your helmets and mag boots just incase."

The elevator reached the command deck and she ran up to the bridge, right behind Joker. She got to watch as the ship came out of jump (or warp) and the shuttle appeared on the viewing screen. Shepard looked to EDI, "status report?" EDI quickly moved her hands over the holographic screen in front of her, "There is one life sign aboard, however it's very faint. Oxygen levels are extreme low. You will have to go now."

Commander Shepard ran to the airlock near the bridge, "Seal ship off and open the goddamn door." EDI waved her hands again and force field came up on both sides of the airlock and the door open. In a flash, Shepard was blown out of the Normandy and launching towards the shuttle. EDI sealed the Normandy back up, and then opened a channel so she and Shepard could continue to communicate. "Shepard, when you reach the shuttle I will override it systems and open the doors. The remaining air will be lost and you will have only minutes to get him aboard."

Joker waved his hands quickly and shook his head, "I got a better idea. Commander just get on that ship; I got this." EDI looked at him, "What are you thinking?" Joker smiled at her while still flipping the ship around and backing it into the shuttle. "Preparing to open shuttle bay doors, I will be able to limit the vacuum of space so that he does implode. But Shepard, there will be neither air nor gravity, " EDI reported to Shepard; as she had finally reached the shuttle.

Once aboard the shuttle, she found Koylat floating in zero gravity; he's hands were at his neck while he gasped silently for air. The image caused her to flash back to Thane struggling to breathe in his last moments. Tears flooded her eyes and she let out a gut-wrenching scream while jumping towards Koylat. Koylat failed around in her arms; fighting to breathe. "Joker! Please! Do something now!" _It was too much. She was holding Koylat close and all she could see was flashes of Thane instead. She was watching him die all over again; helpless to stop it. _"Thane…Thane Krios, you hold on. I am here. Please, hold on. Joker!"

The Normandy backed into the shuttle with docking bay doors open. Within moments, the shuttle was aboard the Normandy where the Doctor was already waiting. _The next 2hours were a living nightmare; Doctor Chakwas used every medical trick in the book, while all she could do was watch. Shepard wanted to reach for him but Garrus took hold of her and held her at bay. He was whispering something to her but she could hear him over her own screams. _Finally, Garrus took off her helmet and pulled her close to his chest, "IT'S NOT HIM!" _She stopped and looked up at Garrus. He looked: hurt, angry, and in love with her. She had never seen it before or prepares she didn't care to. The sight caused her to pull away while shaking her head. She didn't want to deal with this. Garrus was her friend, her rock, her adviser, not this. _

She looked back to Doctor Chakwas in time to see Koylat breathing again. "He is stable for now; I need him taken to the med bay for further study. Shepard I will let you know when he can have visitors. Please go and sort yourself out. You were screaming for me to save Thane the whole time." Shepard place took a step back in shock and realized her whole body was trembling. She cloaked herself with her omi-tool and ran off to her quarters. _She felt as though she was losing her mind and the one person she would confined in, Garrus, was not the man she knew. _

**A/N: The next Chapter is called Thane Awakening into Battle-sleep, it will deal a lot with T.I.M.'s experiments on him. So I needed to break the story here and get out of Shepard's head and heart. Thank you to everyone who has since their comments. I am hoping to have another chapter of Lust and Love soonish, while also working on this next chapter. **_  
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